BEING A SURVIVOR

"A victim lives in fear. A Survivor endures. A victim is weak and powerless, paying for what was not her doing. A Survivor has grown strong because she knows the price is not hers to pay, the sin is not hers to atone."

FORGIVESNESS

We are told to forgive and forget ... But I couldn't forgive and I couldn't forget ... Then I realized .. I have a right to remember and I leave the forgiving to a higher being.

help with overcoming adults overcoming child abuse

If you know someone who was abused as a child, either physically or sexually and cant afford help overcoming their past, please refer them to my blog i am trying to get a support group going in Okc for adult survivors of abuse through a great organization called ASCA adult survivors of child abuse
please e-mail me @ debsadoll@cox.net

A healing dream

I had a dream last night........ that i ran into one of the people who abused me when i was a child, he said to me.......".man, you got fat".......instead of crying and running the other direction like i probably would in real life, i looked him straight in the eyes and said " i am glad that you find me ugly and fat, its because of you that i am overweight, i dont want anyone to look at me the way you did, it makes me sick !!  My weight will ensure that no one will ever hurt me again.................
then i went on to say I cant lose this weight because if i do then you will think that im ok now, and that what you did to me did not effect me like it did..............because what you did to me was life altering, i will always be changed, and i will never be the person i would have been if i had not been molested by you.
wow, i woke up in tears............is this really what i believe deep down? who knew that your dreams are sometimes just what you needed to know so that you could keep healing the inner child that forever feels trapped as a victim..............i hope that my story although deeply personal will help others understand that even though the abuse happened a long time ago, it is something that we continue to work through

February

I have had some big successses with my weight loss this month, i have recently lost 32 lbs, and i feel great!!
this is also Go Red for Women Month, and Heart disease will kill 1 in 3 women, another reason that i am glad to be taking care of my heart.  Heart disease runs in my family and by being overweight this puts me in a higher risk category, and i want to be here to see my children grow up and my grandkids.

I am finally at a place in my life where i am happy with who i am, and losing or gaining weight wont change that, it will however help me to live a longer, healthier life and it will help me achieve my dream of competing for the prestigous title of Mrs. Plus Oklahoma, and getting my message of child sex abuse out to a bigger audience.

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.  ~Flavia Weedn, Flavia and the Dream